things i have learnt from art department-ing:
1) "okay folks, that's a wrap" are some of the sweetest words you can hear
2) art dept will get yelled at for anything and everything
3) there is always a strange tiny yet noticeable division between art dept and rest of crew
4) when the director starts chain smoking, that's probably not a good sign
5) don't bawl out other art dept members unless you're the Art Director...
6) ... but pick axes and fuck-off big mallets still should not be left on a public pathway for ten minutes while there's no one from the art dept anywhere nearby
7) two hours' sleep isn't quite enough to last the day
8) caffeine is your friend
9) low to no budget may mean, alas, you get dragged in as an extra
10) don't point malfunctioning staple guns at your eyes
11) white tack won't hold up pictures
12) black tack gets stuck to your fingers
13) "lefty loosey, righty tighty"
14) flat head screws are a bastard
15) the tube sucks. public transport is a joke.
Monday, May 31, 2004
Friday, May 21, 2004
i've got the black lung...
i'm a bit of a snot factory at the moment (mmm pleasant). caught something from the plane, probably, where the germs just circulate... i snickered at the strange lady sitting in front of me who wore a face mask, but i now understand why she did it.
*cough* *cough* *sniff*
it sucks being back at work. being back in london, actually. i've just gone straight back to the "what do i do now?" mode of thinking. i don't know how much longer this job can last.
i'd like to go away again.
but i'm also really getting back into school mode. maybe a masters. or maybe summer school will cut the craving again. it worked last year. i just feel like dedicating a year to going back to school now is too much. i'll try and pick up one of those big course directories you can get and see what i want to do this summer.
a language. and history. and more art. and literature.
goddamnit.
*atchooo*
excuse me.
*cough* *cough* *sniff*
it sucks being back at work. being back in london, actually. i've just gone straight back to the "what do i do now?" mode of thinking. i don't know how much longer this job can last.
i'd like to go away again.
but i'm also really getting back into school mode. maybe a masters. or maybe summer school will cut the craving again. it worked last year. i just feel like dedicating a year to going back to school now is too much. i'll try and pick up one of those big course directories you can get and see what i want to do this summer.
a language. and history. and more art. and literature.
goddamnit.
*atchooo*
excuse me.
Saturday, May 15, 2004
one crazy assed bbq
hell, what a bbq.
met pro_keds in the library bar (ave A) first, along with salmon and her friend jenny.
beers.
bumping into david cross again.
big rats on the subway.
car from p_k's to fort greene and the bbq at chonch's house.
more beer.
margaritas.
running out of tequila so making dirty margaritas.
only eating chips (doritos) as never got round to grabbing any bbq.
thinking it was a good idea to bring out the water balloons.
instigating a conveyor belt system at the sink with frank but the balloons kept tearing.
big water fight.
wet kitchen floor.
slow dancing in the kitchen with p_k to the slow-dance-bbq CD jeff had made.
the pimpin party going on in the garden behind the one we were in.
twizzlers.
moving on to meadows' place.
talking to a "shemale" who then started playing bongos.
frank's striptease.
jeff's spontaneous dance routine.
curling up on the sofa with meadows' new martin parr book.
falling asleep on the windowsill, then crawling to the couch when jeff and aimee staggered out.
waking up and walking out into the beautiful morning light but realising i had no idea how to get home.
asking the guy at the petrol station.
the G and F trains being surprisingly full for 6:30 on a saturday morning.
pancakes at mcdonalds, mmm.
no sleep.
ajay probably dragging me to coney island in a couple of hours.
it's aaaaalllll good.
met pro_keds in the library bar (ave A) first, along with salmon and her friend jenny.
beers.
bumping into david cross again.
big rats on the subway.
car from p_k's to fort greene and the bbq at chonch's house.
more beer.
margaritas.
running out of tequila so making dirty margaritas.
only eating chips (doritos) as never got round to grabbing any bbq.
thinking it was a good idea to bring out the water balloons.
instigating a conveyor belt system at the sink with frank but the balloons kept tearing.
big water fight.
wet kitchen floor.
slow dancing in the kitchen with p_k to the slow-dance-bbq CD jeff had made.
the pimpin party going on in the garden behind the one we were in.
twizzlers.
moving on to meadows' place.
talking to a "shemale" who then started playing bongos.
frank's striptease.
jeff's spontaneous dance routine.
curling up on the sofa with meadows' new martin parr book.
falling asleep on the windowsill, then crawling to the couch when jeff and aimee staggered out.
waking up and walking out into the beautiful morning light but realising i had no idea how to get home.
asking the guy at the petrol station.
the G and F trains being surprisingly full for 6:30 on a saturday morning.
pancakes at mcdonalds, mmm.
no sleep.
ajay probably dragging me to coney island in a couple of hours.
it's aaaaalllll good.
Thursday, May 13, 2004
bedford avenue theme park
crazy crazy rainstorms yesterday. we walked into bloomingdales just as it started, and it had paused when we walked out - crossed the road into a sandwich bar and it started again. horribly humid as well. the downside to summer weather.
the NY meetup was last night. i was happy to casually walk in, don't know if this was 'cause i'd already met a bunch of them. met a lot of other cool kids like pro_keds (j'adore) and staciemerrill rebekkah and sharonwatt and meadows...
when i walked out onto bedford ave from the subway it was - i'd heard a lot about it, mainly from panther, but it seemed kind of like a theme park. toy town-ish. everyone hanging around, all these crazy dress senses, so many people about. it was kind of strange.
asked the bartender for a vodka lemon lime and got the blankest look. "uh, vodka 7Up?" yeah, whatever.
someone also said to me "the bartender speaks funny, are you guys from the same place?"
the barman was from dublin.
close, guys.
stacie bought me an "empanada" which was gooood (hey, it was food, right? hadn't eaten in a while) and pk ordered me a car... apparently their word for a cab. while we have taxis (the black taxi cabs in town) and cabs - like minicabs - they have cabs (the yellow ones you get in the city) and cars, which are ones you order from firms, like minicabs... how confusing.
a selection of meetup pics:
me & prokeds 'share a moment'
hott tub
more hott tub
being doubly photographed
frank n adam
a little spillage
hidden meadows
up yours
bad brainware...
empanadas
for every action...
there is an equal and opposite reaction
it's only rock n roll... the A+ boys
bear + beer
oh dear
the NY meetup was last night. i was happy to casually walk in, don't know if this was 'cause i'd already met a bunch of them. met a lot of other cool kids like pro_keds (j'adore) and staciemerrill rebekkah and sharonwatt and meadows...
when i walked out onto bedford ave from the subway it was - i'd heard a lot about it, mainly from panther, but it seemed kind of like a theme park. toy town-ish. everyone hanging around, all these crazy dress senses, so many people about. it was kind of strange.
asked the bartender for a vodka lemon lime and got the blankest look. "uh, vodka 7Up?" yeah, whatever.
someone also said to me "the bartender speaks funny, are you guys from the same place?"
the barman was from dublin.
close, guys.
stacie bought me an "empanada" which was gooood (hey, it was food, right? hadn't eaten in a while) and pk ordered me a car... apparently their word for a cab. while we have taxis (the black taxi cabs in town) and cabs - like minicabs - they have cabs (the yellow ones you get in the city) and cars, which are ones you order from firms, like minicabs... how confusing.
a selection of meetup pics:
me & prokeds 'share a moment'
hott tub
more hott tub
being doubly photographed
frank n adam
a little spillage
hidden meadows
up yours
bad brainware...
empanadas
for every action...
there is an equal and opposite reaction
it's only rock n roll... the A+ boys
bear + beer
oh dear
Monday, May 10, 2004
suck my neck
vampire movies can often suck ass bad stylie (when they should be sucking neck, ha ha) but van helsing is genuinely one of the worst movies i've seen in a long time. ugh.
but lost boys still rules the roost.
but lost boys still rules the roost.
Saturday, May 08, 2004
brooklyn bike gang rule
i think that's about it, really.
i shocked even myself by agreeing to go hang out with people i've never met, but i figure what have i got to lose? i'm here by myself, don't know anyone... figured it would be fun. and it was *so* much fun.
we went to some home-run kind of bar in DUMBO with ramshackle outside booths and beer at $2 a bottle, then on to the Run For Your Life night run by black label bike club a couple blocks away (we took a, ah, slightly circuitous route to get there...)
they had loads of souped up bikes there and black label kids were working on them whilst we were there. the brooklyn bike gang kids were having a whale of a time ridin round... while some of us just took photos.
all in all, a crazy introduction to brooklyn. but a wicked night.
i shocked even myself by agreeing to go hang out with people i've never met, but i figure what have i got to lose? i'm here by myself, don't know anyone... figured it would be fun. and it was *so* much fun.
we went to some home-run kind of bar in DUMBO with ramshackle outside booths and beer at $2 a bottle, then on to the Run For Your Life night run by black label bike club a couple blocks away (we took a, ah, slightly circuitous route to get there...)
they had loads of souped up bikes there and black label kids were working on them whilst we were there. the brooklyn bike gang kids were having a whale of a time ridin round... while some of us just took photos.
all in all, a crazy introduction to brooklyn. but a wicked night.
Friday, May 07, 2004
my trip so far
* i walked past david cross about an hour after landing in NY
* there have been big thunderstorms both nights i've been here
* there is a great deli right round the corner from where i'm staying. uh oh
* i watched a softball game when i was killing time in central park. it was the broadway league: The Producers vs The Playwrights. it took me ages to realise it was the show 'The Producers', and that Matthew Broderick, Mr Ferris Bueller himself, was sitting two rows ahead of me. he then batted and played 1st base for his team. he was okay. everyone was a little sycophantic. first time up at bat he missed, second time he bunted it down to first base but the guy fumbled it, so Broderick managed to get to first while the right fielder scooped up the ball. everyone was like "yeeeahh matthew! go matty!" and i was like - it wasn't that good. anyone else who did that might have got a smattering of applause or something.
* i just couldn't bring myself to go into banana republic even though my sister wants me to bring her back something from there
* my credit card has already been refused (eek)
* there have been big thunderstorms both nights i've been here
* there is a great deli right round the corner from where i'm staying. uh oh
* i watched a softball game when i was killing time in central park. it was the broadway league: The Producers vs The Playwrights. it took me ages to realise it was the show 'The Producers', and that Matthew Broderick, Mr Ferris Bueller himself, was sitting two rows ahead of me. he then batted and played 1st base for his team. he was okay. everyone was a little sycophantic. first time up at bat he missed, second time he bunted it down to first base but the guy fumbled it, so Broderick managed to get to first while the right fielder scooped up the ball. everyone was like "yeeeahh matthew! go matty!" and i was like - it wasn't that good. anyone else who did that might have got a smattering of applause or something.
* i just couldn't bring myself to go into banana republic even though my sister wants me to bring her back something from there
* my credit card has already been refused (eek)
Monday, April 26, 2004
cops don't speak so good
"An aware and titillated citizenry, that's how crime's reduced."
Titillated? Really?
Titillated? Really?
Thursday, April 22, 2004
twist schmist
i *heart* sam rockwell
and nicolas cage is the bomb
but matchstick men still isn't a great film.
twist schmist. guessed it about twenty minutes in.
and nicolas cage is the bomb
but matchstick men still isn't a great film.
twist schmist. guessed it about twenty minutes in.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
"slightly off balance"
this was way too good to pass up.
i'm meant to be doing some edits, but obviously am just surfing the web and followed a link to some - i dunno, personality profiler or something. did the test (procrastination) and check out what the (scarily accurate) summary results were:
Hannah, you are moderately right-hemisphere dominant and have even preferences between auditory and visual processing, traits that might make people perceive you as "slightly off balance."
You are most likely to be slightly disorganized, a "dreamer" and a person who focuses more on the end result than the immediate task at hand. You are creative and spontaneous if somewhat lacking in direction and focus. You are a learner who is generally patient and a person for whom time is an ally, not an enemy.
You are more passionate than most people with regard to life and learning and recognize your own intuitive abilities. You have sufficient goal-direction to satisfy yourself and guarantee success without being or feeling driven. You are willing to be reflective about yourself and others without getting lost in rumination.
The balance of your sensory modes allows for both learning and expressive capabilities achieved by few. You are active and "seeing" while retaining an equally strong propensity for being reflective which slows you down a little but allows for a more comprehensive perception and analysis of situations and problems. You do not spend excessive time analyzing since you mostly trust your perceptions.
In all likelihood, you have a tendency to overcommit and cannot understand why others get upset since you operate on a different "time table" than they do. Your organizational abilities are frequently overwhelmed by the stimulation seeking and active nature of your mind as well as by the tendency to create new categories and gloss over details, making categorization and classification almost impossible at times.
To the extent that your career path allows for creativity and abstraction as well as a bit of disorganization, you should find yourself equipped to handle any learning that is required. Your own personal adjustment to your style should come naturally although you are likely to feel frustrated by your own limited discipline and often wonder "Why?"
Your Brain Usage Profile:
Auditory : 50%
Visual : 50%
Left : 44%
Right : 55%
i'm meant to be doing some edits, but obviously am just surfing the web and followed a link to some - i dunno, personality profiler or something. did the test (procrastination) and check out what the (scarily accurate) summary results were:
Hannah, you are moderately right-hemisphere dominant and have even preferences between auditory and visual processing, traits that might make people perceive you as "slightly off balance."
You are most likely to be slightly disorganized, a "dreamer" and a person who focuses more on the end result than the immediate task at hand. You are creative and spontaneous if somewhat lacking in direction and focus. You are a learner who is generally patient and a person for whom time is an ally, not an enemy.
You are more passionate than most people with regard to life and learning and recognize your own intuitive abilities. You have sufficient goal-direction to satisfy yourself and guarantee success without being or feeling driven. You are willing to be reflective about yourself and others without getting lost in rumination.
The balance of your sensory modes allows for both learning and expressive capabilities achieved by few. You are active and "seeing" while retaining an equally strong propensity for being reflective which slows you down a little but allows for a more comprehensive perception and analysis of situations and problems. You do not spend excessive time analyzing since you mostly trust your perceptions.
In all likelihood, you have a tendency to overcommit and cannot understand why others get upset since you operate on a different "time table" than they do. Your organizational abilities are frequently overwhelmed by the stimulation seeking and active nature of your mind as well as by the tendency to create new categories and gloss over details, making categorization and classification almost impossible at times.
To the extent that your career path allows for creativity and abstraction as well as a bit of disorganization, you should find yourself equipped to handle any learning that is required. Your own personal adjustment to your style should come naturally although you are likely to feel frustrated by your own limited discipline and often wonder "Why?"
Your Brain Usage Profile:
Auditory : 50%
Visual : 50%
Left : 44%
Right : 55%
revenge is a dish best served... on t.v.
the best thing just happened.
there's a programme they air on one of the channels here called Cheaters where camera crews follow around cheating spouses, catching them on camera, then confronting them... you get the picture.
this woman just came to the building. i let her in 'cause she said she was here for R---- TV, our channel that it airs on. she sat down in reception, saying she wanted to speak to someone about cheaters.
"i've seen the show. my husband's having an affair. i want to put him on cheaters."
she seemed very calm. quietly mad.
the show is made in the US, however, so there's not anything we can do. we had to break the news. she then asked if we knew any private investigators.
hilarious for us, but i do feel bad for her. men are bastards.
there's a programme they air on one of the channels here called Cheaters where camera crews follow around cheating spouses, catching them on camera, then confronting them... you get the picture.
this woman just came to the building. i let her in 'cause she said she was here for R---- TV, our channel that it airs on. she sat down in reception, saying she wanted to speak to someone about cheaters.
"i've seen the show. my husband's having an affair. i want to put him on cheaters."
she seemed very calm. quietly mad.
the show is made in the US, however, so there's not anything we can do. we had to break the news. she then asked if we knew any private investigators.
hilarious for us, but i do feel bad for her. men are bastards.
Monday, April 19, 2004
"surprise!"
so i got this phone call today from a buddy from university.
"a little bird tells me it was your birthday recently..."
uh... kind of. about three weeks ago.
"oh. so it wasn't april 16th?"
nope
"hmm. [pause] i got an email about two months ago, some friends of yours were trying to organise a surprise birthday party for you. i had the 16th in my diary. i emailed them back with my phone number but never heard anything else."
really? how strange. no, it was march 23rd. i'm not having a party. sorry. so anyway, how's life?
i don't really know what to make of it. apart from assume that if someone/people (i could take a wild guess, it wouldn't be that hard) were still planning it, it's, ah, kinda just been ruined. oops. hate big surprises like that anyway so thank god they didn't do anything.
on kilburn high road at lunchtime i saw this old man rockin a pair of bright blue - well, i guess they'd be turquoise converse all stars. brilliant.
"a little bird tells me it was your birthday recently..."
uh... kind of. about three weeks ago.
"oh. so it wasn't april 16th?"
nope
"hmm. [pause] i got an email about two months ago, some friends of yours were trying to organise a surprise birthday party for you. i had the 16th in my diary. i emailed them back with my phone number but never heard anything else."
really? how strange. no, it was march 23rd. i'm not having a party. sorry. so anyway, how's life?
i don't really know what to make of it. apart from assume that if someone/people (i could take a wild guess, it wouldn't be that hard) were still planning it, it's, ah, kinda just been ruined. oops. hate big surprises like that anyway so thank god they didn't do anything.
on kilburn high road at lunchtime i saw this old man rockin a pair of bright blue - well, i guess they'd be turquoise converse all stars. brilliant.
november blues
up to nottingham and back again today, always fun. saw panther though which was cool. revoltingly tanned.
found a CD in the car that i'd made in november - originally entitled 'november blues'. i found the track list quite funny:
Live & Let Die (Wings)
Where Is My Mind? (The Pixies)
Solitary Man (Johnny Cash)
Ballad of a Thin Man (Bob Dylan)
Me & The Devil Blues (Robert Johnson)
19th Nervous Breakdown (Rolling Stones)
Sunny Afternoon (The Kinks)
Last Goodbye (Jeff Buckley)
Mr Tambourine Man (Bob Dylan)
Save Me (Aimee Mann)
Heroin (Velvet Underground)
Morning Glory (Tim Buckley)
Wildflowers (Tom Petty)
Try Not To Breathe (REM)
This Is A Low (Blur)
The Sound of Silence (Simon & Garfunkel)
Say Yes (Elliott Smith)
Day Is Done (Nick Drake)
Anna Begins (Counting Crows)
Street Spirit (Radiohead)
it's a bit of a hit and miss compilation, i have yet to come up with a definitive one, but ignore the artists and read the song titles and it's clear what state of mind i was in back then. wonder what a psychiatrist would make of it.
found a CD in the car that i'd made in november - originally entitled 'november blues'. i found the track list quite funny:
Live & Let Die (Wings)
Where Is My Mind? (The Pixies)
Solitary Man (Johnny Cash)
Ballad of a Thin Man (Bob Dylan)
Me & The Devil Blues (Robert Johnson)
19th Nervous Breakdown (Rolling Stones)
Sunny Afternoon (The Kinks)
Last Goodbye (Jeff Buckley)
Mr Tambourine Man (Bob Dylan)
Save Me (Aimee Mann)
Heroin (Velvet Underground)
Morning Glory (Tim Buckley)
Wildflowers (Tom Petty)
Try Not To Breathe (REM)
This Is A Low (Blur)
The Sound of Silence (Simon & Garfunkel)
Say Yes (Elliott Smith)
Day Is Done (Nick Drake)
Anna Begins (Counting Crows)
Street Spirit (Radiohead)
it's a bit of a hit and miss compilation, i have yet to come up with a definitive one, but ignore the artists and read the song titles and it's clear what state of mind i was in back then. wonder what a psychiatrist would make of it.
Saturday, April 17, 2004
when i grow up...
I want to be Jessica Stevenson. She's the bomb.
Shaun of the Dead (I know, going to the cinema when the weather was this nice) - v funny. Muchly amused.
Couldn't sleep so stayed up to watch Office Space (s'okay, pretty funny, but can see why wouldn't have nec been the hugest cinema hit. can also see why gained video following) so went to bed about three-ish, then got a phone call at like 6am from someone just wanting to chat. 6am? Crazy lady.
Thus have spent the day very overtired, doing very little, wishing I had my bike here and wishing I had enough energy to actually go and do something. Other than sit in a cinema.
Shaun of the Dead (I know, going to the cinema when the weather was this nice) - v funny. Muchly amused.
Couldn't sleep so stayed up to watch Office Space (s'okay, pretty funny, but can see why wouldn't have nec been the hugest cinema hit. can also see why gained video following) so went to bed about three-ish, then got a phone call at like 6am from someone just wanting to chat. 6am? Crazy lady.
Thus have spent the day very overtired, doing very little, wishing I had my bike here and wishing I had enough energy to actually go and do something. Other than sit in a cinema.
how i spent my friday night
Friday, April 16, 2004
how to spend a fairly cheap evening in the most expensive capital city
so we went to a film preview screening for journalists etc that i'd been invited to at a production house down soho (shattered glass, i liked it more than he did) that i don't have to write a review for 'cause someone else already has (hurrah)
then we went to the VX Collective launch party at Hospital in Covent Garden where they initially couldn't find our names on the guest list and where we continually downed the free champagne, made friends with two of the waiters, bitched about the idiots there (dude, you should have seen some of the outfits. try-hard much? such a shame), realised leah wood was there but got over that in about two seconds, talked shit, admired the canapes (mini shepherd's pie, mini fish and chips, mini toad in the hole) but i couldn't eat anything 'cause i don't eat meat, and wished we could see the annie liebovitz exhib better (shitty lighting in the gallery)
then we went for dinner at a thai place down wardour st that's one of those "bung-everyone-on-the-same-table" kinda places, like wagamamas, v nice, v cheap, i got confused by the bathrooms as they had weird symbols on them, noticed two girls in one so followed them in asking in they could read thai or something then they pointed out that the symbols were actually in the form of a figure sitting down (girls) and standing up (boys). kinda cool.
so in the end the only things i had to pay for was a travelcard and dinner. about sixteen quid in total. rock on. thank god for free drinks.
then we went to the VX Collective launch party at Hospital in Covent Garden where they initially couldn't find our names on the guest list and where we continually downed the free champagne, made friends with two of the waiters, bitched about the idiots there (dude, you should have seen some of the outfits. try-hard much? such a shame), realised leah wood was there but got over that in about two seconds, talked shit, admired the canapes (mini shepherd's pie, mini fish and chips, mini toad in the hole) but i couldn't eat anything 'cause i don't eat meat, and wished we could see the annie liebovitz exhib better (shitty lighting in the gallery)
then we went for dinner at a thai place down wardour st that's one of those "bung-everyone-on-the-same-table" kinda places, like wagamamas, v nice, v cheap, i got confused by the bathrooms as they had weird symbols on them, noticed two girls in one so followed them in asking in they could read thai or something then they pointed out that the symbols were actually in the form of a figure sitting down (girls) and standing up (boys). kinda cool.
so in the end the only things i had to pay for was a travelcard and dinner. about sixteen quid in total. rock on. thank god for free drinks.
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
God's handgun?
More script copy-typing. Have found possibly the best sentence yet.
"...But with the help of God and his registered handgun..."
Brilliant.
"...But with the help of God and his registered handgun..."
Brilliant.
Monday, April 12, 2004
Go Fish
I have a review due in tmrw, and a 1500 word article due in at the end of the week. The review currently stands at about three paragraphs long, the article is non-existent. So what am I doing? Letting myself be dragged to High St Kensington by my sister to go shopping. Such a martyr.
I'll do them later...
Out for drinks w/ Curly and Alex and some of Alex's mates last night in Gloucester Road (of all places). Bar was *empty*. Lots of wine. Played cheat (aka bullshit) and then Go Fish. Except that when we played when we were younger you used to just say "Laura, have you got any tens?" and if she had a ten of any suit, she had to hand it over. But then this guy John said that you had to actually specify the suit as well - ups the stakes, so to speak, makes it a game of wits as you have to remember who asked for what, who's got what... Well, as much as Go Fish can be a game of wits.
Playing later after three bottles of wine just made it all the more funny.
I'll do them later...
Out for drinks w/ Curly and Alex and some of Alex's mates last night in Gloucester Road (of all places). Bar was *empty*. Lots of wine. Played cheat (aka bullshit) and then Go Fish. Except that when we played when we were younger you used to just say "Laura, have you got any tens?" and if she had a ten of any suit, she had to hand it over. But then this guy John said that you had to actually specify the suit as well - ups the stakes, so to speak, makes it a game of wits as you have to remember who asked for what, who's got what... Well, as much as Go Fish can be a game of wits.
Playing later after three bottles of wine just made it all the more funny.
Sunday, April 11, 2004
Did anyone pray for a pair of giant shoes?
A surprising lack of chocolate for Easter Sunday (hey, guess what, I've decided it's time to bring some proper punctuation to this bitch).
Got dragged to church this morning, the first of my twice-yearly routine (xmas being the second time, midnight mass). I'm still having issues taking it all seriously. It doesn't help when the sib is giving her usual running commentary.
Christmas 2002 was the 'That 70s Show' inspired routine. We'd spent the previous couple days watching back episodes on Trouble (they seemed to be playing them round the clock), including the xmas ep where 'the gang' put on their xmas pageant, with Kelso wanting to be a space wiseman and all that shit (actually quite funny). So the priest is talking about Baby Jesus (not sure why the b in baby is capitalised, it just feels like it should be) and Fi is just added comments to everything he says, and I'm pissing myself, trying to laugh quietly, while my dad smirks, my mum pretends she doesn't know us and everyone around us frowns.
Or Christmas 2001 when I realised a guy in our church looks exactly - and I mean EXACTLY - like Ned Flanders. Tall, thin, rectangular head, moustache, glasses, religous type. I'd always thought this guy look familiar, but then it suddenly hit me who it was. And I was with Fi and Bell (grown up altogether, like another younger sister); I told them this and we spent the rest of the service reciting one line to each other and crying with laughter.
It's the ep where Bart Simpson has had to wear those corrective shoes, and he's finally allowed to take 'em off, so he kicks them off and they fly through the Flanders' window.
Ned:"Did anyone pray for a pair of giant shoes?"
Rod: (or possibly Todd): "I did!"
Ned: "Okely-dokely!"
Not exactly comic genius written down, but *so* funny when you're bored in church and you can't get over how much someone looks like a cartoon character.
Today's service was a relatively tame affair by the sib's standards; I think it was because we were both half asleep and would rather have been in bed. Just the usual comments - someone doing one of the readings "...and Isaiah said..." Fi: "Isaiah talked shit, didn't he?"
Then we were talking during a hymn over a shared hymnbook and the guy in front of us turned round and gave us a strange look, causing us both to giggle like schoolgirls as we thought he was mad at us. Then he turned back around and gave us a spare hymn book. Eek. He was just being nice.
I don't know what it is about church that turns me back into a ten year old, or why I continue to go when I feel like this. It's just hypocritical.
Got dragged to church this morning, the first of my twice-yearly routine (xmas being the second time, midnight mass). I'm still having issues taking it all seriously. It doesn't help when the sib is giving her usual running commentary.
Christmas 2002 was the 'That 70s Show' inspired routine. We'd spent the previous couple days watching back episodes on Trouble (they seemed to be playing them round the clock), including the xmas ep where 'the gang' put on their xmas pageant, with Kelso wanting to be a space wiseman and all that shit (actually quite funny). So the priest is talking about Baby Jesus (not sure why the b in baby is capitalised, it just feels like it should be) and Fi is just added comments to everything he says, and I'm pissing myself, trying to laugh quietly, while my dad smirks, my mum pretends she doesn't know us and everyone around us frowns.
Or Christmas 2001 when I realised a guy in our church looks exactly - and I mean EXACTLY - like Ned Flanders. Tall, thin, rectangular head, moustache, glasses, religous type. I'd always thought this guy look familiar, but then it suddenly hit me who it was. And I was with Fi and Bell (grown up altogether, like another younger sister); I told them this and we spent the rest of the service reciting one line to each other and crying with laughter.
It's the ep where Bart Simpson has had to wear those corrective shoes, and he's finally allowed to take 'em off, so he kicks them off and they fly through the Flanders' window.
Ned:"Did anyone pray for a pair of giant shoes?"
Rod: (or possibly Todd): "I did!"
Ned: "Okely-dokely!"
Not exactly comic genius written down, but *so* funny when you're bored in church and you can't get over how much someone looks like a cartoon character.
Today's service was a relatively tame affair by the sib's standards; I think it was because we were both half asleep and would rather have been in bed. Just the usual comments - someone doing one of the readings "...and Isaiah said..." Fi: "Isaiah talked shit, didn't he?"
Then we were talking during a hymn over a shared hymnbook and the guy in front of us turned round and gave us a strange look, causing us both to giggle like schoolgirls as we thought he was mad at us. Then he turned back around and gave us a spare hymn book. Eek. He was just being nice.
I don't know what it is about church that turns me back into a ten year old, or why I continue to go when I feel like this. It's just hypocritical.
Monster
saw Monster this evening. interesting. theron certainly earned her oscar. HF described it as harrowing. i couldn't decide quite message the film was trying to give, whether a shitty upbringing/BG was a viable excuse for things, or you can't blame the past, can't make excuses...
messed with my head a bit, left me with all sorts of bad questions on the nature of rape, the effect of sex on the psyche (sounds like some shitty new age book), the victim/survivor mentality (are you a victim of abuse, or a survivor?)... just things going round and round and i want it to stop
messed with my head a bit, left me with all sorts of bad questions on the nature of rape, the effect of sex on the psyche (sounds like some shitty new age book), the victim/survivor mentality (are you a victim of abuse, or a survivor?)... just things going round and round and i want it to stop
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
vive la france
daytrip to france, en famille. stock up the "wine cellar", obviously. quite a tame affair compared to some we've had though. bought a bottle of vodka for like 4 euros (about two quid!), a carton of fags for curly and some whisky for j. feel i should have actually asked more people if there was anything i could get them, but kind of forgot...
bill called to say first agent had rejected it. i was surprised by my lack of reaction to this. i didn't want to talk to him for long because obviously i'm in france so the phone call would cost me money or whatever, but i was surprised to hear from him (had figured it would be a buddy on the phone who i could call just shout "infrancecallyoulater" and immediately hang up. but it wasn't. i don't know if it's the fact that it's been so long, or what, but then i was sitting in the car wondering why i wasn't disappointed or anything. maybe it's because i just don't believe anything will happen. i don't think i will believe anything will ever happen until it's the first day of shooting and there's the AD shouting "we're going for a take" and everyone's in their positions. a looonnng way off. never never land.
new article published on knotmag today, the insomnia one, got the email once back in london.
waking life
bill called to say first agent had rejected it. i was surprised by my lack of reaction to this. i didn't want to talk to him for long because obviously i'm in france so the phone call would cost me money or whatever, but i was surprised to hear from him (had figured it would be a buddy on the phone who i could call just shout "infrancecallyoulater" and immediately hang up. but it wasn't. i don't know if it's the fact that it's been so long, or what, but then i was sitting in the car wondering why i wasn't disappointed or anything. maybe it's because i just don't believe anything will happen. i don't think i will believe anything will ever happen until it's the first day of shooting and there's the AD shouting "we're going for a take" and everyone's in their positions. a looonnng way off. never never land.
new article published on knotmag today, the insomnia one, got the email once back in london.
waking life
Sunday, April 04, 2004
'Dinner', God Jr, and a brief trip to the ICA
finally got to the theatre this evening, 'Dinner' at the Wyndham with HF. i liked it, nicely un-PC, but got a really numb arse from the seats.
then walked over to the ICA to meet J and brillo. always feel really out of place at the ICA. i say always - i've only been there twice, this being the second. met the boys up the top where J was curating some room. pieces of paper sporadically stuck up on the walls. it looked like scribbles i'd done in lectures when bored. so contemporary art goes over my head. i'm not ashamed to admit that. gimme a good painting any day. the boys were saying that some people had seemed to think that *they* were part of the installation or something, the way they'd been hanging out in there, and J said some guy had been closely examining a smudge on the wall. it's just a dirty mark! not art! but that's the whole point - he obviously couldn't tell if he was meant to be admiring it or wondering what had happened to the cleaners.
picked up a leaflet while waiting down in the foyer and they actually have pretty good stuff at the cinema (for some reason this irrationally annoys me; i feel i shouldn't like anything there. stupid) and the gift shop had some good stuff. a david shrigley book. and looked like they had a good selection of magazines. will have to investigate further.
had an interesting 15 minute hunt around leicester sq and piccadilly to find a japanese restaurant that didn't have an absurdly long queue, ended up in a wagamama's between haymarket and regent st w/ brillo. good food, good company. he rocks.
then walked over to the ICA to meet J and brillo. always feel really out of place at the ICA. i say always - i've only been there twice, this being the second. met the boys up the top where J was curating some room. pieces of paper sporadically stuck up on the walls. it looked like scribbles i'd done in lectures when bored. so contemporary art goes over my head. i'm not ashamed to admit that. gimme a good painting any day. the boys were saying that some people had seemed to think that *they* were part of the installation or something, the way they'd been hanging out in there, and J said some guy had been closely examining a smudge on the wall. it's just a dirty mark! not art! but that's the whole point - he obviously couldn't tell if he was meant to be admiring it or wondering what had happened to the cleaners.
picked up a leaflet while waiting down in the foyer and they actually have pretty good stuff at the cinema (for some reason this irrationally annoys me; i feel i shouldn't like anything there. stupid) and the gift shop had some good stuff. a david shrigley book. and looked like they had a good selection of magazines. will have to investigate further.
had an interesting 15 minute hunt around leicester sq and piccadilly to find a japanese restaurant that didn't have an absurdly long queue, ended up in a wagamama's between haymarket and regent st w/ brillo. good food, good company. he rocks.
Thursday, April 01, 2004
ben and the bullies
motherfucker. woke up this morning with right eye swollen shut and left eye going the same way. i look like i've been punched in both eyes.
dr gave me some ointment. was waiting in pharmacist's for ages, and randomly started talking to some woman who has the same bday as me. and ellen freeth's dad (girl i went to primary school with) was in there as well. it took me about five minutes to work up the courage to ask if he was her dad (i knew he would be, cause he told the chemist his name when he walked in to pick up something). it's very strange. he's still in broadcasting, and remembered the film we'd all made in year 6 "Ben and the Bullies" - where ben tate was the new kid who got bullied at school. i remember being the one who did the slate and everything. lots of fun. and then they showed the video on a continuous loop at the parents' evening a few weeks later.
by some strange postal miracle, my shit from amazon turned up today (only ordered on monday at about midnight) so, despite the fact i couldn't keep my eyes open properly, i hid in the living room away from the builders and watched some 'spaced' (series one) episodes. then repo man (what a film). then fell back asleep again. ah me, the life of being ill.
the most annoying part though is that it was the film screening tonight of the film i helped out on back in feb, the LFS one 'Virus Meridien' (what a gay title). i kinda wanted to see it, see how it turned out. tres irritant. there was really no point in going though. wouldn't have been able to see my way there, or see the screen, and i probably would have grossed people out with the way my eyes are at the minute.
dr gave me some ointment. was waiting in pharmacist's for ages, and randomly started talking to some woman who has the same bday as me. and ellen freeth's dad (girl i went to primary school with) was in there as well. it took me about five minutes to work up the courage to ask if he was her dad (i knew he would be, cause he told the chemist his name when he walked in to pick up something). it's very strange. he's still in broadcasting, and remembered the film we'd all made in year 6 "Ben and the Bullies" - where ben tate was the new kid who got bullied at school. i remember being the one who did the slate and everything. lots of fun. and then they showed the video on a continuous loop at the parents' evening a few weeks later.
by some strange postal miracle, my shit from amazon turned up today (only ordered on monday at about midnight) so, despite the fact i couldn't keep my eyes open properly, i hid in the living room away from the builders and watched some 'spaced' (series one) episodes. then repo man (what a film). then fell back asleep again. ah me, the life of being ill.
the most annoying part though is that it was the film screening tonight of the film i helped out on back in feb, the LFS one 'Virus Meridien' (what a gay title). i kinda wanted to see it, see how it turned out. tres irritant. there was really no point in going though. wouldn't have been able to see my way there, or see the screen, and i probably would have grossed people out with the way my eyes are at the minute.
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
tears to the eyes
meant to go to the theatre this evening w/ HF - a bday present, she got me a ticket - but my right eye was all funny. started at work, just figured it was adjusting to contact but it wouldn't stop tearing up and going kinda gungey (mmm, nice). at about 430ish i just stood up and said i was going, as i couldn't work on the computer screen properly anymore because of it. went home and took out contact lenses then went to meet HF in town. luckily managed to change tickets for another night (so wouldn't have been any point in going tonight), but the run ends on saturday so we had to get saturday matinee. we then went for dinner, where i had to eat with one eye shut. really distorts your perspective and depth perception...as i learnt on my walk back home from the station earlier on.
not too sure what's going on with this thing, have dr's appt for tmrw morning. can barely see screen, will have to go now.
not too sure what's going on with this thing, have dr's appt for tmrw morning. can barely see screen, will have to go now.
everything but the kitchen sink
so the builders came in today and completely demolished the kitchen. took everything but the kitchen sink. seriously. it looks very strange. we've created a make-shift kitchen in the living room, moved the kettle and microwave in (although the latter has an incredibly inpractically short plug and lead so doesn't plug in anywhere yet). already tempers are frayed and nerves are shot. the house is small enough as it is, ruling out that entire room means we are all completely living on top of each other. nightmare.
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
another year older and deeper in debt...
so. 23 today. shocker.
lame ass day. early twenties, meant to be peak of partying performance. woke up wayyy too early (5-ish) so am now completely knackered. lil sis bought me lunch (for a change), had dinner with the fam this evening, now i just want to go to sleeeep. i'll postpone the partying till some of the kids get back in the country.
happy birthday to me, and all that jazz.
lame ass day. early twenties, meant to be peak of partying performance. woke up wayyy too early (5-ish) so am now completely knackered. lil sis bought me lunch (for a change), had dinner with the fam this evening, now i just want to go to sleeeep. i'll postpone the partying till some of the kids get back in the country.
happy birthday to me, and all that jazz.
Sunday, March 21, 2004
theoretical physics
birthday bbq today at s's, in wimbledon. lots of oxford people. met a guy who is in his first yr of a phd in theoretical physics. hf asked what it was, i was sorely tempted to crack a joke. "theoretical physics, like 'i think i see that bunsen burner, therefore that is a bunsen burner.'" luckily i bit my tongue. i have a strange sense of humour. anyway, apparently it's physics without the experiments, more sitting around in dark rooms hunched over, propounding earth shattering (hopefully) theories. or something.
showed hf the "fat lady" short story for her opinion and miss MA-in-Creative-Writing actually gave me a quick crit which was cool, useful as i didn't know what i was doing with it. it's cool that she has this practice, will have to get her opinion on more things. it's funny how people are sometimes kind of - scared? wary? i don't know, just a bit hesitant about giving true opinions, but i'm always curious to know what people think of my work. like with b---, he always seemed like he didn't want to hurt my feelings or something, whenever we were talking about BNFM, but i need these criticisms, else what am i going to work on, build on? i'm objective enough to be able to take it.
the weather is being very mercurial today. sunny - although incredibly windy - then for no reason at all it will rain solidly for five minutes, then the sun will reappear. spring time is here.
mother's day. the younger sib has disappeared somewhere; can't do a thing till she returns.
the flowers on the clematis outside my window are out, and the blossom on the peach tree is budding. a new project, herbal tea, Abbey Road, a handful of toffee popcorn; everything is fine.
showed hf the "fat lady" short story for her opinion and miss MA-in-Creative-Writing actually gave me a quick crit which was cool, useful as i didn't know what i was doing with it. it's cool that she has this practice, will have to get her opinion on more things. it's funny how people are sometimes kind of - scared? wary? i don't know, just a bit hesitant about giving true opinions, but i'm always curious to know what people think of my work. like with b---, he always seemed like he didn't want to hurt my feelings or something, whenever we were talking about BNFM, but i need these criticisms, else what am i going to work on, build on? i'm objective enough to be able to take it.
the weather is being very mercurial today. sunny - although incredibly windy - then for no reason at all it will rain solidly for five minutes, then the sun will reappear. spring time is here.
mother's day. the younger sib has disappeared somewhere; can't do a thing till she returns.
the flowers on the clematis outside my window are out, and the blossom on the peach tree is budding. a new project, herbal tea, Abbey Road, a handful of toffee popcorn; everything is fine.
Saturday, March 20, 2004
cogito ergo sum
a quote from a columnist on knotmag struck me:
"When you strip it all way, we are lonely and confused and, all told, rather pointless. Our constant bluster must be amusing to whomever created this universe; because nothing we do is important. In 90 years we're all going to be dead, and whatever we have created during our short time here will be forgotten. Everything I've ever written, anything I've ever done, will, eventually, be the dead sea scrolls, relics, strange curiosities easily dismissed..."
amen, brother. thank god for will leitch.
"When you strip it all way, we are lonely and confused and, all told, rather pointless. Our constant bluster must be amusing to whomever created this universe; because nothing we do is important. In 90 years we're all going to be dead, and whatever we have created during our short time here will be forgotten. Everything I've ever written, anything I've ever done, will, eventually, be the dead sea scrolls, relics, strange curiosities easily dismissed..."
amen, brother. thank god for will leitch.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
i know kung-fu
ways you can tell you're not taking your job seriously, part one.
you've been left alone all morning as the rest of the department is at a meeting out of office. copy typing yet another crime-series script, you come across the lines
"According to L-----, self-defense is about more than just physical fighting techniques."
your first impulse is to add the line "try to realize... there is no spoon."
i know kung-fu.
you've been left alone all morning as the rest of the department is at a meeting out of office. copy typing yet another crime-series script, you come across the lines
"According to L-----, self-defense is about more than just physical fighting techniques."
your first impulse is to add the line "try to realize... there is no spoon."
i know kung-fu.
a host of golden daffodils
on the train this morning between acton central and willesden jct, i noticed this tiny patch of scrubland - a small trapezium of land bordered by the railway tracks and back yards. it was a dump, overgrown and piled up with trash and garbage that people had obviously just chucked in there. and in the middle there was a tiny circle of clear and a small silo of bright yellow daffodils. it looked kind of beautiful.
the clouds are very low today.
the clouds are very low today.
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
too much buffy is bad for the psyche
i love that it's still light...kind of dusk-ish...when i walk to the station in the evenings now. the most magical time of day. and my road smells of springtime and the anticipation of summer. that incredible blend of the cherry blossom and magnolia and warmth. it makes everything seem good.
i watched 'the laramie project' this evening, the HBO film of the play about the killing of matthew shepard in 1998. it was - i don't really know. i thought it was really good, but the main thing that kept echoing as i was watching it was "this is true. this happened." i did, of course, cry like a bastard, and i know films emotionally manipulate you anyway, and this was obviously no exception especially given the subject matter, but it was still that "it's all true" thing that got me. and the amount of hate just pouring off some people - that guy phelps or whatever, that turned up at matthew's funeral with the "matt in hell" and "fags burn" kind of signs just make me so angry and frustrated and you just don't know what to do. i guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion. i guess? i mean of course they are - esp in america, freedom of speech etc. but there's a time and a place. and the reaction of the public was amazing. the catholic priest they interviewed, they were apprehensive about meeting him so i'm sat there thinking "oh christ what's he going to say" but this guy seemed to have his head screwed on and his feet on the ground and he said some good things. then the baptist minister one of the girls talked to - what a prick. this is what i hate about religion, the intolerance, the narrow-fucking-mindedness of it all that just drives me to the wall. (cf. religion article on knotmag...) there were scenes of candlelit vigils and so on and it made me want to have something to believe in, but what?
we fill our lives with things: religion, work, friends, family, alcohol, drugs... each to their own, whatever it takes to get through the day. i just don't yet know what that is. sometimes it's writing. sometimes it's the sun shining. often it's the thought "once this day is over, one day nearer to the weekend..." :)
i'm giving up on f-log for a while, i'm just not feeling it at the minute. it's not really going to matter one way or the other, is it.
on the train this eve coming back from work, a guy sat diagonally opposite me in the next section of seats - i guess mid-30s, early-40s, bald, wearing a black hoodie. and my mind immediately went "ooh, he's obviously the bad guy." too much buffy is bad for the psyche. it makes you see "bringers" and demon people when in reality they can't help it if they're bald and decided to wear a black hooded sweater that day. it also makes you think you're more powerful than you are. then you get followed home and realise you actually *are* the blonde-running-down-the-alley archetype that joss whedon was trying to turn on its head. anyway, it still made me laugh to myself that i thought that about him. lucky for him the train was crowded and i didn't have room to do some high-powered buffy kicks and roundhouses...
looking after charlie this evening and when he was having a bath he got some water up his nose and worriedly called me to tell me, then told me how "if you get a bubble in water in you it can kill you if it gets your brain or heart." as in, if you get an air bubble in your bloodstream it can kill you. i had to reassure him that getting a bit of water up his nose would be okay, it wouldn't kill him.
happy birthday laura, hope all is well in colorado, miss you. happy birthday to the parkinson twins - curly claire and ben, see you guys soon i hope. xxx
if i was a child i would point out that it is only a week till my birthday, but i am soon to be 23 and am therefore not even remotely interested or excited in this news.
i watched 'the laramie project' this evening, the HBO film of the play about the killing of matthew shepard in 1998. it was - i don't really know. i thought it was really good, but the main thing that kept echoing as i was watching it was "this is true. this happened." i did, of course, cry like a bastard, and i know films emotionally manipulate you anyway, and this was obviously no exception especially given the subject matter, but it was still that "it's all true" thing that got me. and the amount of hate just pouring off some people - that guy phelps or whatever, that turned up at matthew's funeral with the "matt in hell" and "fags burn" kind of signs just make me so angry and frustrated and you just don't know what to do. i guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion. i guess? i mean of course they are - esp in america, freedom of speech etc. but there's a time and a place. and the reaction of the public was amazing. the catholic priest they interviewed, they were apprehensive about meeting him so i'm sat there thinking "oh christ what's he going to say" but this guy seemed to have his head screwed on and his feet on the ground and he said some good things. then the baptist minister one of the girls talked to - what a prick. this is what i hate about religion, the intolerance, the narrow-fucking-mindedness of it all that just drives me to the wall. (cf. religion article on knotmag...) there were scenes of candlelit vigils and so on and it made me want to have something to believe in, but what?
we fill our lives with things: religion, work, friends, family, alcohol, drugs... each to their own, whatever it takes to get through the day. i just don't yet know what that is. sometimes it's writing. sometimes it's the sun shining. often it's the thought "once this day is over, one day nearer to the weekend..." :)
i'm giving up on f-log for a while, i'm just not feeling it at the minute. it's not really going to matter one way or the other, is it.
on the train this eve coming back from work, a guy sat diagonally opposite me in the next section of seats - i guess mid-30s, early-40s, bald, wearing a black hoodie. and my mind immediately went "ooh, he's obviously the bad guy." too much buffy is bad for the psyche. it makes you see "bringers" and demon people when in reality they can't help it if they're bald and decided to wear a black hooded sweater that day. it also makes you think you're more powerful than you are. then you get followed home and realise you actually *are* the blonde-running-down-the-alley archetype that joss whedon was trying to turn on its head. anyway, it still made me laugh to myself that i thought that about him. lucky for him the train was crowded and i didn't have room to do some high-powered buffy kicks and roundhouses...
looking after charlie this evening and when he was having a bath he got some water up his nose and worriedly called me to tell me, then told me how "if you get a bubble in water in you it can kill you if it gets your brain or heart." as in, if you get an air bubble in your bloodstream it can kill you. i had to reassure him that getting a bit of water up his nose would be okay, it wouldn't kill him.
happy birthday laura, hope all is well in colorado, miss you. happy birthday to the parkinson twins - curly claire and ben, see you guys soon i hope. xxx
if i was a child i would point out that it is only a week till my birthday, but i am soon to be 23 and am therefore not even remotely interested or excited in this news.
Monday, March 15, 2004
Vanity Publishing for the Digital Age/The Boy Who Cried Wolf
i still can't really get my head round these things. blogs, i mean. they just seem so... self-absorbed. like i've re-subtitled my page, "Vanity Publishing for the Digital Age". surely that's all it is? who actually cares what i did or think or see? why do people read these things? the vicarious thrills they get? that feeling that you're peering into someone else's life? it's like reading their diary. possibly more to the point - why do people WRITE these things? why am i writing this now? because i write, but this could just as easily be part of my private journal that sits on my harddrive, password-protected, never to see the light day. but it isn't. hmm. i can tell this is a thought that is going to be going round my head all week. the vanity and self-obsession inherent in blogs.
thinking of "the absurd state of the nation" - this morning a conversation with my father about which would be a more likely terrorist target, the tube or the buses. this was just before i went to the station. none of the usual "have a nice day, dear." instead we agreed that london would probably be hit in some way at some point this year; that public transport is indeed a good way to do it; whether it would make more sense to hit the tubes, trains or buses. i figured that tubes are fairly localised if underground, whereas buses can effect the whole street. of course, a tube done badly enough could technically make the ground collapse i guess, destroy water lines, gas lines, electricity and phone and cables and so on. this is a horrific conversation to have. but it seemed so normal. it wasn't until i was thinking about it later, out of context, that it seems like an appalling conversation to have. and the more worrying thing is that neither of us were panicked or overly scared. it has become a part of our daily lives now. this incessant warmongering and propanda that the media spouts "Terror Warning for England" "Tanks Outside Heathrow" "London on Full Alert" just seem to have desensitised people to things. well, me at least. i see these new headlines and i think "yeah, whatever." it's like the boy who cried wolf. maybe sometimes it works, puts people a little more on their guard, but mostly it's like, so who's threatening to blow us up or release a deadly virus this week. one day it'll happen and, despite all these stuff about it, it'll still catch people somewhat off guard.
and that's only the start of the absurdity. that such a conversation can be so mundane. let's not even think about all the other shit that has slowly been piling up since the start of this new millennium.
thinking of "the absurd state of the nation" - this morning a conversation with my father about which would be a more likely terrorist target, the tube or the buses. this was just before i went to the station. none of the usual "have a nice day, dear." instead we agreed that london would probably be hit in some way at some point this year; that public transport is indeed a good way to do it; whether it would make more sense to hit the tubes, trains or buses. i figured that tubes are fairly localised if underground, whereas buses can effect the whole street. of course, a tube done badly enough could technically make the ground collapse i guess, destroy water lines, gas lines, electricity and phone and cables and so on. this is a horrific conversation to have. but it seemed so normal. it wasn't until i was thinking about it later, out of context, that it seems like an appalling conversation to have. and the more worrying thing is that neither of us were panicked or overly scared. it has become a part of our daily lives now. this incessant warmongering and propanda that the media spouts "Terror Warning for England" "Tanks Outside Heathrow" "London on Full Alert" just seem to have desensitised people to things. well, me at least. i see these new headlines and i think "yeah, whatever." it's like the boy who cried wolf. maybe sometimes it works, puts people a little more on their guard, but mostly it's like, so who's threatening to blow us up or release a deadly virus this week. one day it'll happen and, despite all these stuff about it, it'll still catch people somewhat off guard.
and that's only the start of the absurdity. that such a conversation can be so mundane. let's not even think about all the other shit that has slowly been piling up since the start of this new millennium.
Saturday, March 13, 2004
outside of cyberspace
too many hours in cyberspace and i figured i should venture into reality (reality? noooooo!) walked up to the library, where the magic eye to open the doors wasn't working from the outside, so there was a cluster of people waiting for someone to be coming out. the whirrrr kachunk sound; the doors slowly inch open; the eager visitors surge forward, pushing in between the slowly opening doors, mowing the old man down, trampling him under foot. i think the council might need to look at the doors.
sainsburys, packed as it's saturday afternoon. the PA announcer thing kept going off "contract cleaner to aisle 13, contract cleaner to aisle 13" "azim to desk 56 please, azim to desk 56. " then the chick doing it got the giggles. "this is a staff annoucement, please could lucky go to the kiosk - lucky to-" she broke off and there were two seconds of uncontrollable giggles, a whine of feedback and a sudden click as the announcer was turned off. obviously saturday afternoon was too much for her. and yes "lucky to the kiosk" was actually what she said.
passed a small girl quietly singing to herself, "i hear thunder, i hear thunder" and i was instantly in the infant school hall with miss morris sat at the piano and twenty five other six year olds. then someone almost ran me over with a trolley and i was back in 2004 in a busy supermarket. it was very strange.
this f-log thing is becoming a bad habit; i stopped so suddenly to take a photo someone almost walked into me.
i walked past a woman carrying a tray of brownies a couple blocks from home. i wanted to grab the tray and make a run for it. i controlled that urge.
placebo on the radio doing a cover of that pixies' song, Where Is My Mind. not bad.
sainsburys, packed as it's saturday afternoon. the PA announcer thing kept going off "contract cleaner to aisle 13, contract cleaner to aisle 13" "azim to desk 56 please, azim to desk 56. " then the chick doing it got the giggles. "this is a staff annoucement, please could lucky go to the kiosk - lucky to-" she broke off and there were two seconds of uncontrollable giggles, a whine of feedback and a sudden click as the announcer was turned off. obviously saturday afternoon was too much for her. and yes "lucky to the kiosk" was actually what she said.
passed a small girl quietly singing to herself, "i hear thunder, i hear thunder" and i was instantly in the infant school hall with miss morris sat at the piano and twenty five other six year olds. then someone almost ran me over with a trolley and i was back in 2004 in a busy supermarket. it was very strange.
this f-log thing is becoming a bad habit; i stopped so suddenly to take a photo someone almost walked into me.
i walked past a woman carrying a tray of brownies a couple blocks from home. i wanted to grab the tray and make a run for it. i controlled that urge.
placebo on the radio doing a cover of that pixies' song, Where Is My Mind. not bad.
a star studded premiere
first entry. so, a new website. interesting. i'm not hugely tech-literate, so i have no idea how this will all turn out. although, out of my family, i'm about the only one who can do anything. i feel i should set up a separate phone line on my mobile for tech support for when one of them calls me.
"okay, so, how do i do timer on the VCR?"
"...it's due in ten minutes and i need to go and print it out and i don't know how to save it to disk - help!"
"well, how do i move down a line?"
"press enter."
"enter? what's that?"
"enter. ENTER.... carriage return?"
"ohhh."
three feet high and rising burning up the stereo and weird springtime weather - sunny but keeps sporadically pissing it down.
bear with me while i wrestle with this bastard. i'll have square eyes by the end of the weekend.
"okay, so, how do i do timer on the VCR?"
"...it's due in ten minutes and i need to go and print it out and i don't know how to save it to disk - help!"
"well, how do i move down a line?"
"press enter."
"enter? what's that?"
"enter. ENTER.... carriage return?"
"ohhh."
three feet high and rising burning up the stereo and weird springtime weather - sunny but keeps sporadically pissing it down.
bear with me while i wrestle with this bastard. i'll have square eyes by the end of the weekend.
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