So I've been making plans to go back to NY, as work is sporadic and I have a bonus £500 (rare). But every time I get close to booking tickets, I get cold feet and can't quite go through with it - and am not sure why. So I re-watched the dumb little movie I made before I left, and was re-reading the blog archives circa 2005, when I first moved to the Apple, to remind myself of the amazing times and making myself feel very nostalgic. Everything felt like an adventure then. I came across this sentence that made me laugh out loud as it just seemed to sum up 2005 NY for me:
"Sure, I could stay in, make sure I know my shit, get a good night’s sleep and be truly prepared, but we’re young and in New York. I need my Friday night fill of hot boys, cute girls, cheap(ish) drinks, good music and general Lower East Side activity. Who wouldn’t?"
Long sigh. The nostalgia and odd kind of homesickness for that feeling of being young and free and having the (social) world at our feet clashed oddly with one of my recent posts about getting old, and I tried to reconcile the two ideas. Reading those archives I couldn't fathom how I used to do it - running on about 3 or 4 hours sleep a night, working a 9am-6pm job five days a week, class one evening a week, going out and staying out till the wee hours at least three times a week... how is that humanly possible?
Last night I headed out to Feeling Gloomy for some drinks and dancing, with my old roommate from New Jersey and a friend from my intake out there. Good times, almost like old times... This isn't so bad, I thought.
And then I got home, soaked after being caught in the rain at 3:30am and having to run from Centre Point down to Trafalgar Square to get my night bus when the other bus prematurely terminated, sober as I stopped drinking pretty early, tired from dancing, a little cold from the walk down St John's Road - and found an email asking me to be godparent to young Margot (with a clause attached to fill her in about Joss Whedon at some point in her life...) And suddenly realised that while being young, free, drunk and with no responsibilities has something going for it, everyone has to change, everyone grows up, and it's little things like this that makes things worthwhile.
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