the day before the deadline

• Hours of sleep had: Less than four
• Number of drafts written
10 pages: About five
One-pager: Still not enough
• Deadlines met: One
• People in the line ahead of me at the Post Office: what seemed like 100
• Minutes spent deciding between the veggie brunch or the pancakes at brunch: Also about five
• Tantrums the godson had during the couple hours I spent with him: At least three. Including throwing a bowl of chips on the floor at Giraffe.
• How we got him back in the buggy without another tantrum: bribed him with Maltesers.
• Plan for the next day or two: bloody sleep.

Bonne chance à tous. I hold no hope but at least a deadline gets me writing.

carnival

It's very useful having friends who live on Portobello: having a place to collapse, a free BBQ, a table full of drinks, nice toilets, a good view of the Carnival crowds (and the subsquent riots, which I missed, being back at home, but my sister who was staying there had prime position to witness the riot police in action)... Haven't been since I was a teenager (can never quite be bothered), but it was so worth it just for the food: saltfish patties, fried plantains, dumplings... drooooool...

oh i do like to be beside the seaside

So the Dream (temp) Job has come to an end, so I round up my peoples (Fi, Maria and the tot) and decide to head down to Brighton for the day (where I haven't been since I was 10). The weather's been so-so in the preceding few days, and we wake up the morning of the daytrip to slate grey skies and continuous rain. So far so bad. No one is amused. We pick up Maria and Tayo from Shepherd's Bush and hope for the best...

By the time we pass the sign welcoming us to West Sussex, there is more blue in the sky than grey; as we park in Brighton along the marina, the sun is starting to come out.

We head straight into the Sealife Centre (initally to use the toilets), and many fish and stingrays, one Amazon exhibit, some sharks and a wicked giant turtle (plus one mega tantrum from Tayo) later, we emerge to blazing sunshine and clear blue skies. Hurrah!

Food is on the agenda so we walk the couple blocks up to Momma Cherri's Soul Food Shack for lunch. I read a review of this place years ago in a newspaper, and it stuck with me as I realised I had gone to primary school with the owner's daughters, and Momma Cherri (or Cherita as I remember her by) frequently helped out with school drama productions and the like. I mentally filed it away for future use; now we're finally here, I suggest it to Maria, who apparently is familiar with Momma Cherri from Saturday Kitchen. So there we head. We're given a nice big table and there are plenty of toys for the tot. We each order a homemade lemonade (yum) and lots of food - a meatball sub, grilled catfish, hush puppies, cornbread (drool) and mac & cheese for Matteo. The food is all incredible; Tayo seems to prefer cornbread to actual substantial food but I'm happy to eat his mac cheese for him while he throws cucumber on the floor, hoovers up the corn bread, and flirts with Momma Cherri's very cute granddaughter.

All a little happier now are sugar levels are raised (we skip dessert, holding out for hot donuts on the pier later) and wander up to the Pavilion (what amazing buildings) then down to the pier. Fi and Maria are hunting for "saucy" postcards for their boss, we're all on the look out for donuts; we wander round the fairground (no takers for any rides, though I am quite tempted - as always - by the rollerghoster). Fi keeps going on about some milkshake shop she went to last time she was down visiting friends who are at Sussex Uni so we venture back into town, donuts in hand.

We get lost in the Lanes - she has no idea where this milkshake place actually is, so I make her call her friends. By the time we find it, there's a sign saying 'Back in 5' so we wander some more. Luckily when we return it's open so we get these apparently legendary shakes... and then Fi tips half of hers over Tayo, while trying to give him a sip. The poor kid sits there staring at her, at the half cup of milkshake all over his hoodie. Then politely asks for some more. Can't deny a sweet tooth... One quick change of clothes later, and we're all feeling the effects of sunshine, sea air and lots of food so head back to the car. While some lucky toddlers are passed out within about five minutes of being back on the road; some of us have to do the drive back and forget to get on the M25 from the M23 and have to navigate back through Croydon...

time out

there was a baby shower for my imminent godson in shepherd's bush, the party mainly made up of girls we [the mamma-to-be who is my best friend since age 12, and myself] went to high school with. they all started getting broody, and then talk quickly turned to marriage, babies and mortgages [one of them got married in june] and i started quietly freaking out, thinking "when did we all get so old - and more to the point, why are they in such a rush to get even older?" - with the also-unhelpful mantra of "25, unemployed, single, living at home..." running through my mind as they talked about their savings and careers.

that's not to say i'm anti it all. but i feel at 24-25, the age we all are at the moment, it's like prime time for... i don't know, adventures. not settling down. maybe it's just me. cold feet or whatever. but i can't imagine tying myself down to a mortgage. babies are a different thing, they can happen accidentally. love is transient, and falling in love is an adventure in itself. but saying "this is it, this is all i want now" whether it's about a job or home or something... i can't do it. i think i have itchy feet. and a bad case of the don't-wanna-be-heres. we all know i'd rather be in NY, and perhaps if things were happening there it'd be different. but who really knows.

the arrival of my little man, and the trip to NY this fall are all that's keeping me going at the moment...