there was a baby shower for my imminent godson in shepherd's bush, the party mainly made up of girls we [the mamma-to-be who is my best friend since age 12, and myself] went to high school with. they all started getting broody, and then talk quickly turned to marriage, babies and mortgages [one of them got married in june] and i started quietly freaking out, thinking "when did we all get so old - and more to the point, why are they in such a rush to get even older?" - with the also-unhelpful mantra of "25, unemployed, single, living at home..." running through my mind as they talked about their savings and careers.
that's not to say i'm anti it all. but i feel at 24-25, the age we all are at the moment, it's like prime time for... i don't know, adventures. not settling down. maybe it's just me. cold feet or whatever. but i can't imagine tying myself down to a mortgage. babies are a different thing, they can happen accidentally. love is transient, and falling in love is an adventure in itself. but saying "this is it, this is all i want now" whether it's about a job or home or something... i can't do it. i think i have itchy feet. and a bad case of the don't-wanna-be-heres. we all know i'd rather be in NY, and perhaps if things were happening there it'd be different. but who really knows.
the arrival of my little man, and the trip to NY this fall are all that's keeping me going at the moment...
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