signs

so the deadline for that job i kind of wanted (trainee script editor) was actually august 20th, not august 27th. that means i missed it. i obviously wasn't meant to have that job. maybe it's a sign that i shouldn't be editing other people's scripts but focusing on my own. because if i'm honest with myself, in my heart of hearts that's what i'd love to do for a living; write scripts. i think i had it too easy the first time round, with a producer saying he wanted it. but now - it's probably just gathering dust somewhere at shepperton. and i'm too chicken to call and ask what's going on, if he's still looking for an agent for me, if he's even still interested. i keep telling myself i'll call in september. i'm just one big coward. afraid of failure. so maybe i should just admit that i fucked up over this job application deadline instead of seeing everything as a sign. it's just a way of interpreting everything to your liking. it's stupid.