Friday, July 29, 2005

pub club sleep and work work work

Okay, so here’s the plan.

* An essay an hour until six; that’s the three essays done.
* Stay an hour later to finish typing up revision notes for tomorrow – that takes me to 7.
* Be back in JC by 7:30, 15 minutes to chill and grab some food. That’s 7:45.
* Settle down and learn notes for tomorrow morning: we’ll give secession an hour and a half and slavery an hour and half. Where does that take us to?
* 10:45. Okay. A last half hour to go over notes and learn the bio by heart. That’s 11:15pm.
* Factor in a few bathroom breaks here and there, time out for text messaging.
* A little while to throw on some clothes, maybe a dab of eyeliner.
* Aim to be on the PATH by 11:45.
* Hit Orchard Bar sometime after midnight.
* Do not – repeat, DO NOT – drink.
* Stay for a little while, get out of the apartment, blow off some steam, do not get drunk, go home, sleep for a little while and be ready to be at class by 9am Saturday morning, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and ready for whatever torture those monsters who scheduled the assessment for a Saturday morning are ready to throw at us.

Then meet up with the boys that are in from LA and spend the rest of the afternoon looking forward to the open Sparks bar at Misshapes tomorrow night that will hopefully wake you up a little.

Sounds like a plan.


Sure, I could stay in, make sure I know my shit, get a good night’s sleep and be truly prepared, but we’re young and in New York. I need my Friday night fill of hot boys, cute girls, cheap(ish) drinks, good music and general Lower East Side activity. Who wouldn’t?

Thursday, July 28, 2005

You say tomayto and I say Oh My God

Soooo. My apologies to anyone who encountered me earlier this week, mainly Tuesday and Wednesday morning. It wasn't a pretty mood. That was a pretty big thundercloud I had hanging above me. But I've kicked the mood, made peace more or less with the housemate who sent the email, had sushi and realised that ginger vodka, whilst it may be vodka, just isn't going to do the trick (it mings for England. Or the US, in this case).

So back to the usual shit. A distressing incident occurred over the weekend that i'd now like to relate.

Picture the scene: Sunday, coming up to midnight, we're sat on a random stoop on North 7th in W-burg with a slice of veggie pizza each, after hanging out at Union Pool all evening being given free drinks.

And suddenly it happens.

I hear myself say it.

"Tomayto"

Yes, that red fruit frequently found on top of pizza. But it was not spoken in the good old Queen's English - which sounds something like tomahtoh. No no my friends. The 'a' did something weird. It picked up an american twang.

Worrying. Very worrying.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

incorrect emails and i'm going the hell out tonight

ever have that thing when you get sent an email about you?

and immediately following it are three - oh no, wait, sorry, five - "the sender would like to recall this email" notices?

and by the third one you're like, okay recall the fucking thing already?

yeah, that just happened.

gosh, ain't life grand sometimes.



although trying to maintain the ridiculously upbeat mood i've been in so far today:
the sun is shining, i spoke with sam for a while yesterday, i finally bought new headphones last night (the difference is astounding, why did i not do it earlier) and my tentative plans for tonight have just been made concrete by that fucking email mentioned above because i don't really want to go home too early. excellent.

Monday, July 25, 2005

hott and nott

Hott

* NYC
* Last Friday night
* New friends
* Open bars
* New friends that launch sites listing all the open bars around town
* New friends that work in non-open bars and slip you free whisky sours all night
* Being taken on spontaneous midnight drives to the Brooklyn Heights promenade when you’re feeling a little blue


Nott

* Bombs going off in London
* Last Saturday morning
* My roommate’s drink being spiked last Friday
* Open bars after having barely eaten anything for the previous two days because you have no money left for food (my own fault) (see also: "last saturday morning")
* Boring English boys with no style or class. Ugh. And people who talk about their desire to act.
* My ipod mini’s battery life. I’m about to disown the bastard.
* The messed up L train schedules, and the PATH nighttime schedules which means it takes over an hour and a half to get back to JC from the ‘burg.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

3000 miles and a new city

when you're 3000 miles from "home", how can you tell the difference between loneliness, homesickness and general crankiness?

i think we'll save the topic of 'friends and having to re-learn how to make them in a new city' for another time.

i'm off to brooklyn. this apartment is doing my head in.

Friday, July 22, 2005

my last pennies and words from the war zone

so it's thursday afternoon, you're down to your last ten dollars.
do you:

a) buy a $3.50 box of california rolls (mmm sushi) that is technically lunch and dinner, that will leave you with six or so bucks left for emergencies/friday morning etc.
b) buy a frappacino because it's so frickin hot and you need some caffeine just to stay awake in the afternoon (both of which could constitute an 'emergency')
c) go to hennes (H&M) after work and pick up lots of pretty things then put it all on your english debit card, using the "reserve funds" you'd wanted to save for absolute emergencies
d) say fuck it and do all of the above, leaving you with four dollars in quarters which is just enough to do your laundry if you borrow four more quarters from your kindly roommate?

plus, this is getting really quite tiresome.

USA Today 7.22.05 BW

from across the pond:

my sister:
fiiiiiiii says:
my god london is becoming a bit of a joke
hanner says:
why?
hanner says:
what now?
fiiiiiiii says:
sth being searched on harrow road..did you hear about this morning
hanner says:
the guy being shot?
fiiiiiiii says:
yeah - did i tell you
fiiiiiiii says:
its crazy
hanner says:
bbc
fiiiiiiii says:
like something out of 24
hanner says:
lol


sam:
From: hannah
To: sam
Subject: RE:
Sent: 22 July 2005 13:41:12

…how are things after yesterday? most ppl i've spoken with are just really fed up and pissed off

From : Sam
Sent : 22 July 2005 13:46:05
To : hannah
Subject : RE:

…I feel pretty much the same. It was pissed off-ness yesterday, then by this morning it's just a feeling of God, please, just stop it. I don't want to be frightened and I don't want anyone else to suffer, and I don't like the fact that [her home town in the Buckinghamshire] seems appealing again. I'm pissed off that we are totally at "their" mercy, and their only targets are everyone, at every time and everywhere. It just feels like I imagine it does in Iraq (on a teeeny weeny scale).

Maria:
It's bloody ridiculous and I'm pissed off and in a bad mood. Shepherds Bush is still cordoned off now and Vincent can't get home. They've set up 2 shelters in Bush for the people who can't get home but it's a really weird atmosphere. All the winos are wandering the streets because they can't sit in their usual spots on Bush Green. There was an impromptu street party between a pub on Goldhawk Road and Scotts Court estate with a big white van with loads of speakers thumping out beats. The police were very defensive as they are not well liked in Bush so were doing the best they could. Everyone was out and about as they knew the feds had better things to do than hassle people so people were bunning on the street (ahem) and it was just really weird. You would never think that there was/is an unexploded bomb a few metres up the road.

Spence was also lectured by a policeman. Earlier in the day he had parked his car in the parking places but he'd had to go the wrong way down a one way system to park it as the other end of the street had already been blocked off. So obviously, they blocked the rest of the street off and Spence still can't get the car. He was trying to convince the policeman to let him get it last night but then he got lectured about the fact that he should be thankful that the only thing he is worried about is his car. If the bombs had gone off who knows who would have been killed by it and we would have known some of them. Izzy was on that line around and just before that time (but obv. didn't notice anything!). It's just so infuriating that you can't carry on with life which is hard enough at the moment without all this crap on top of it.

it all sounds a little chaotic over there. i just saw on the bbc site that some guy has been shot dead by police. christ. what the hell is happening to our city?

It's a crazy place at the moment. The guy was a suspected suicide bomber in Stockwell and they shot him 5 times. Dead. Nice.

Bush is still cordoned off.

The detonators went off but the bombs didn't. They're saying that in Bush the bomber (who obv. thought he was about to die) was shocked, picked himself up off the bomb and legged it down the tracks, through some gardens and along Wood Lane by the BBC. So they've sectioned off the whole area to look for evidence, they won't let any cars be taken away in case it's the bomber's, and they have found a suspect package on the road of Spencer's office which could be explosives or evidence. They have to do it all bit by bit and they said it could stay like this for a week if necessary. It's awful on the tubes though - everyone is really suspicious and it's made worse by the fact that so many people wear rucksacks.

blimey. what's the general atmosphere over there now, is it pretty tense? or are people just really fed up?

A bit of both really. A lot of people are scared as they weren't expecting another attack so soon and now they're wondering what's coming next. Some are angry that we're being terrorised, and a lot of people are suspicious of everything. Even to the point of suggesting that the government has done it to keep everyone scared (because none of the bombs went off yesterday). I just think the whole thing is stupid. Why don't they just do assassinations of people who piss them off these days instead of targeting us poor people who don't even like our stupid prime minister.

I'm just getting fed up with there always being something wrong. I can't even get to and from work without it being a challenge. Nothing is easy at all and I'm getting severely fucked off.

i'm not convinced the british government is quite that sneaky

do you think yesterday was a copycat attack or something? what's the media saying, are they saying that being exactly two weeks after, three tubes and a bus it's therefore the same people, or do they think that the original attacks opened the door for all the nutters and now they're all trying to have a go? what do you think?

I don't think the government is that stupid. Tony Blair must know that he is being blamed by the public for this and I don't see why he would make it worse for himself. His speech yesterday was a bit half-hearted I think.

They don't seem to think it's copy cat attackers. From the evidence they have gathered so far it was the same explosives, materials and possibly bags. They think that all the bombs were made at the same time but as bombs have a shelf life, they all malfunctioned because the materials had either gone off or got damp. They said that they were definitely designed to kill but something went wrong. All the witnesses at the different locations say that the bombers all looked terrified (naturally when you thought you were going to die a minute before) and then they legged it. These guys are going to be fucked when they're caught.

I still feel the same as I did after the last attack and that is that I don't think this is the main thing they have planned unless they don't intend to kill Londoners but just bring us to a standstill with regards to transport, tourism and economy. Compared to NY and Madrid we haven't really seen anything yet.

yes i would tend to agree

can we please change the subject as it's stressing me out a little to think of it, of everyone i love being in that one place that seems to be becoming a mini-war zone...

umm, it's friday, the weekend, any plans?

(*sigh*)


sorry. i know. it's a shit world we're living in.


happy weekend, everyone...

Thursday, July 21, 2005

banana seats and sissy bars

superfly

my bike is shit hott

that's all i can think to say today that isn't something along the lines of:

* fucking terrorist dickheads, leave my city the fuck alone.

* man, i'm kinda beat. i need to start averaging more than 3.5 hours of sleep a night.

* i'm *so* glad tmrw is both friday and payday. what shall i do this weekend?

yesterday was such a weird, weird day: really emotionally intense morning, boring afternoon, then one of those nice NY evenings where you're meant to hit open bars but due to people being late and then bumping into guys whose party you crashed last friday on houston and then stopping for ice cream, you just squeak in to one open bar - but the barman can't seem to understand your accent so gives you the wrong drinks ["two vodkas and soda" "cola?" "no, *soda*" "there ya go, two vodka-cokes" "ewwww"] so you leave and just miss the end of the other open bar because it's a balmy night and you're happy just drifting along. the other bar has fishnett-stockinged pole dancers upstairs and a podium for the crowd to have (some very graphic) fun on downstairs where you're dancing until blur comes on (hah), so you go back upstairs and bump into various random and not so random people that you know, and top up your drinks from your hipflask until it's empty and you realise that you're all broke and kinda tired. so you head out and walk up ave a then along st marks place because w--- wants to see how much they've changed the neighbo(u)rhood and he makes you stop at a hotdog diner where they're playing thunderbirds (although maybe it was team america)

highlight of the evening:
the bouncer outside boysroom yelling at me for talking on my phone in the wrong place but me not hearing until he bellows: "hey! british! MOVE IT!" i haven't been called that yet. i loved it.

Monday, July 18, 2005

melted ice cream and pink wellies

siren festival - hot, sweaty, not as crowded as i'd imagined
highlights:

spending half of the saul williams set (the main person i'd gone to see) with earphones clamped over my ears being made to listen to the rakes by a guy with a pink belt on.

bumping into a bunch of people when i thought i wouldn't find anyone there. although not so good when this also includes the MB kids and that complete prick ben j-.

mint choc chip ice cream that instantly started melting down my arm, dribbling off my elbow.

riding the cyclone. CC dragged me on. terrfying and bone-jolting as ever. but still a thrill.

misshapes - hot, sweaty, just as crowded & gross as i'd imagined
highlights:

well, there was a lot of drink. including one drink that i bought and promptly dropped on the floor. well done me.

pink wellies
lauren's pink wellies.

hanging out with complete randoms.

making a pact with g- and cc that next saturday, if we came to misshapes, would be "dress night" and we'd all wear pretty dresses.

playing camera snap with scott the hot photographer.
camera duel

running into the village tavern to use their restrooms 'cause the queue at misshapes was so long.

talking to an american boy about british comedy and hearing him do 'little britain' impressions. sheer fucken genius.

checking myspace yesterday evening and discovering a bunch of new adds. myspace and misshapes are clearly heavily intertwined.

the walk up to the 14th St PATH that, ah, took a lot longer than it probably should due to certain interesting distractions...

getting back home and discovering my roommate was still up despite it being practically daylight outside after having had an impromptu '80s disco in our room with her friend c-. awesome.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

teddy bears and magnolia cupcakes

On Fri. night we ended up going to this pajama party at some loft in Tribeca and it was one of those things where you had to make some kind of effort. Due to all of us running late, we didn't end up meeting till like midnight outside the building, so I was walking down from the 9th St PATH station at about 1130ish, dressed in a white skirt, boxers, a white vest (and when I say vest I mean one of those things you wear under clothes. It was not suitable to have been worn by itself, but vest boxers = something I sleep in, so...) and carrying this fat teddy bear with an eye mask on. And there were loads of people around and then I walked past the bookstore and the queue was huge and so many people stupidly dressed up for the Speccy Potter book launch...and *I* was the one getting the odd looks for walking around carrying a freakin' teddy bear.

The apartment where the party was was amazink. Looked like it had been lifted from a movie or something. It’s these four kids, our age, internet whiz kids etc (they do www.vimeo.com and www.bustedtees.com and stuff. Find my page on vimeo and win a prize) and they own it. Huge telly, pool table, piano, nice sofas... free booze and cupcakes from the Magnolia bakery (melt in your mouth good. Also melt in your hand, as I discovered when Arielle walked up to me right before we left and handed me half a smushed-up cupcake, sans paper case. Nice.)

Ended up back in Bushwick with the kids (CC et. al) after an amusing cab ride singing James Bond songs, stayed over on their air mattress, which took forever to blow up. Then had to do that kind of walk-of-shame thing back from Brooklyn. 10am on the L train, feeling rough, looking a mess. But I’d thought ahead enough at least to have brought my shades with me. And at least I didn't still have that goddamn bear. I left "Colin" (as he came to be known) guarding the apartment...

Quote of the evening:
“Remember. Best friends are made amongst many adversaries… by which I mean a loft full of Tribeca yuppies…”
[William, saying goodnight to me as he went back across the hall to his own loft]

Friday, July 15, 2005

hoop dreams and the cracked asphalt of nostalgia

So yesterday evening I headed up to Rucker Park (Adam was photographing the event for the Knicks so I thought I'd go say hi)for an Entertainment Ball Classic. So good. Amazing finally getting to go there, having heard about it for so long, being such a legendary place. Hilarious commentators. The game was pretty good as well and it was a lovely summer evening, weather-wise.

And then on Wednesday night I played basketball again for the first time in years. Our apt being on the 21st floor, I can see the bball court (well, tennis court with hoops at either end) that’s behind Duane Reade from the front room, and when I got home it was empty so I grabbed the ball and headed down. The ball is one I found in the apt. when we moved in, it’d been left by the previous tenants. I dunno who they were but this ball is half flat and has some wack Scooby-frickin-doo flowery print all over it

Note to self: get a new basketball asap

Anyway, so I get down to the tennis-bball court. The net is still up for tennis. It's on like a jetty or pier out into the river, so I'm playing bball with the Hudson lapping around me and if I turn around (I was playing at the end of the court opposite from the entrance) then I can see the whole of the Manhattan skyline, solemnly sitting there under slightly glowering cloud formations.

Despite having not played for years, the first three shots went straight in. False confidence though as after that I wasn’t so good, averaging... well, below 50% I guess. I was just messing around, shooting 'n stuff. I was annoyed that I couldn't get it from the free throw line. About eight and a half, nine feet from the baseline i was fine. Nothing but net. For real. But that extra step back to behind the line... and it all went pete tong. Half the time I was just throwing up air balls. Shoddy performance. (Didn't even bother with the three-pt line, never been able to shoot treys. Weak underformed girlish arm muscles don't allow for that...)

But how strange it was to play on a smooth, level playing surface. Where's the cracked asphalt? The loose gravel? The kids on bikes short-cutting through the playground, the dogs chasing sticks, the skaters heading over to the half pipe? Why isn't the court split in half between the streetball players, with their trash talk and shouting and skins-v-shirts, and the kids messing around at the other half? Where's that occasional smell, that twitch of the nostrils as someone lights up a joint as it gets darker? Where's r's moped that looked like he'd jacked it from a pizza-delivery guy that was always parked nearby? Where's Picnic, so nicknamed by us because he always seemed a few sandwiches short of a picnic? Or Jason, or Leon, or the boy who wore the Boss shirt? Where's Frankie, aka Dred? (Not that I actually have any desire ever to see him again, ever, mind you) Where are the streetlamps flicking on, the back end of the old hospital looming over the park, the roars of motorbikes and cars coming from Goldhawk Road? Ahh Ravenscourt Park and your crummy basketball court, site of my misspent youth, I do have occasional pangs of nostalgia for thee...

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

kirsten dunst and pad thai jay

thoughts of the day:

upon waking: 'holy crap, it's hot in here'

in the shower: 'wow. conditioner is a great invention.'

on the PATH: 'what's up with people getting up and moving to the door a whole station before they need to get off? i kind of miss the silverlink.'

08:56, checking gmail: 'goddamn. kirsten dunst turned us down. man, her publicist didn't even spell her name right.'

09:10, a few minutes later after googling aforementioned publicist: 'sheesh. this guy is money. he reps some biggies. well, at least we made contact. that's something.'

10:09, looking at the Lula mag contributors pack: 'this magazine is gonna be shit hot... ooh i'm sub-editor? when did i become sub-editor?! fuckin' a...'

13:45, covering reception: 'okay, i'm hungry. you know what they need in new york? wagamamas. mmm, amai udon. or busaba. mmm, pad thai jay... drooool... [tummy now growling]

14:45, in chelsea whole foods: [taking off headphones as i make my way to cashier] 'wow, i was singing louder than i thought. oops. huh. that looks like alex suarez. no, no, debit, not credit. oh. wait. it *is* alex suarez. hi.'

15:48, in the kitchen, as one of the partners asks me "so have you noticed much of a difference in fashion between here and london?": 'oh crap, is that a thinly veiled statement regarding what i'm wearing? green flash sneakers, green ankle socks, dark denim skirt, white tee... what's wrong with that?? huh. you're the one wearing a blue shirt and yellow tie.'

16:13: 'bored nowww...'

16:15, looking at craigslist: 'ooh, bikes. i want a new bmx. i know i have a superfly one already but i want another one. mmm, bmxs...'

18:10, outside 50 East 42nd: 'it's such a nice evening. such a waste to have to spend it with the MB kids, in a lecture.'

19:35, in lecture: 'did the lecturer really just say "i've shot my wad"??'

20:20, on the PATH back: 'this announcer sounds like forrest gump. [reading over some guy's shoulder] 'Odours, their designation and classification'. wow. fascinating.'

right now: 'are people going to understand these crazy european 24 hour clock times i've used? gah, whatevs. i want some dinner.'

Monday, July 11, 2005

corn chips and playlists

I totally couldn't be bothered to cook tonight so for dinner I had some matzo, a handful of corn chips (mmm so tastee. Why on earth do we not have them in England?) and a spoon or two of 'Rice Dream - Mint Carob Chip' dairy-free ice cream. Did anyone else ever read Everyone Else's Parents Said Yes when they were a kid? Totally made me think of the mother in that. So a nutritious and delicious dinner for me, then.

And I know i was joking kind of recently about procrastinating badly and ending up making CDs, but it's actually becoming an issue.

I got home this evening with good intentions of doing work... and ended up wasting a long time creating a new playlist.

Since I've been here (NY), I've had articles to write and edit, things to arrange, the major project to edit and a new project that I've started some groundwork on. But of course procrastinating comes first, and I've also managed to create about five or six new playlists for various people in that time. It's impressive. This one was creatively entitled July '05, and was with thoughts of chilling on rooftops/in the park. That kinda mood. I miss my roof.

1. Island in the Sun - Weezer [the only Weezer song I know]
2. Escape (The Pina Colada Song) - Rupert Holmes [makes me think of my Fi]
3. Captain Badass - Songs:Ohia
4. A Cautionary Song - The Decemberists
5. Rest My Head Against The Wall - Heatmiser [Elliott Smith before he was Elliott Smith]
6. My Friend And The Ink - Shout Out Louds
7. Here Comes My Baby - Yo La Tengo [this song, in any version, makes me think of my momma]
8. Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson
9. I Know Where The Summer Goes - Belle & Sebastian
10. Theme from Pinata - Bright Eyes
11. (Do Not Feed The) Oyster - Stephen Malkmus
12. Coffee & TV - Blur [sorry CC]
13. Anything You Want - Spoon
14. Swinging on a Star - Big Dee Erwin
15. Forever Lost - The Magic Numbers
16. Boys Don't Cry - The Cure [I was hopping around the office like a crazy child singing this last Friday]
17. I Don't Need Love, I've Got My Band - The Radio Dept.
18. Cayman Islands - The Kings of Convenience
19. Romulus - Sufjan Stevens
20. Bluebird - Devendra Banhart

Interestingly I noticed that one playlist that had been made for someone started with the song 'Never Talking To You Again' - Husker Du, and initially ended with 'So Long' - Rilo Kiley. Sounds like I was channelling something subconscious there... Anyway. It's all been changed. But it made me laugh when I noticed it.

Thought of the evening: Gosh, editing can be quite boring.

Second thought of the evening: 'I Only Have Eyes For You' by the Flamingos is still easily one of the best songs ever recorded.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

cowboy underwear and new umbrellas

and now back to our regularly scheduled broadcast; the banalities and trivialities that only a blog warrants.

a) i got a new umbrella. it was pissing down on friday and my other one gave out as soon as i stepped out the building. crappy thing.

b) i got new underwear. one lot has MC5 emblazoned across the front, there's some with little basketballs and sneakers, one with monkeys and bananas and one with six-shooters and horse shoes that spoke to my inner cowgirl. even cowgirls need underwear - tom robbins' new book. ahem. anyway. they're all a little childish, but whatever. at least next time i walk over a subway grating and my skirt goes sky-high i'll at least entertain passersby

c) i didn't get new headphones yet 'cause when the hell did they get so expensive?

d) i got a really pretty (but expensive) dress today. it's so pretty. i probably can't afford to eat for a week, but meh, whatever.

e) i love that nightlife in NY starts late and goes on late. met cc and justin for a "quiet friday night drink" - back home this would mean a trip round to the bell and crown at about 9ish, leave by 11 or before. i met them last night at about midnight and we headed to orchard bar. i got home gone 3. that was my quiet friday night drink.

Friday, July 08, 2005

you're never gonna keep us down...

Letter to the Terrorists (yesterday, on the London News Review website)

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?

This is London. We've dealt with your sort before. You don't try and pull this on us.

Do you have any idea how many times our city has been attacked? Whatever you're trying to do, it's not going to work.

All you've done is end some of our lives, and ruin some more. How is that going to help you? You don't get rewarded for this kind of crap.

And if, as your MO indicates, you're an al-Qaeda group, then you're out of your tiny minds.

Because if this is a message to Tony Blair, we've got news for you. We don't much like our government ourselves, or what they do in our name. But, listen very clearly. We'll deal with that ourselves. We're London, and we've got our own way of doing things, and it doesn't involve tossing bombs around where innocent people are going about their lives.

And that's because we're better than you. Everyone is better than you. Our city works. We rather like it. And we're going to go about our lives. We're going to take care of the lives you ruined. And then we're going to work. And we're going down the pub.

So you can pack up your bombs, put them in your arseholes, and get the fuck out of our city."


as one london friend said, "brilliantly put - couldn't have said it better myself"

and it's true, london is used to bombs. i remember a bunch of them. i vividly remember the docklands bomb that broke the IRA ceasefire way back when. and the IRA bomb that went off in ealing in the summer of 2001, i heard that from my house. we're used to this shit. so we carry on as normal. as the NY Times called it, london is "oddly stoic" right now.

[my sister told me this morning that the most requested song on radio one was the one that goes "i get knocked down, i get back up again, you're never gonna keep me down" etc. she said it made her a bit tearful. i say - ugh, gross. seriously, british public. that's taking it too far. it's one thing to not let some idiots completely disrupt everything, maintaining that british reserve, but that song, apart from not being very good, is just indulgent. seriously.]

but then you ponder the meaning of the bombs, and come across these comments in another article:

"Why - if the bombs were primarily aimed at disrupting the G8 summit - were they detonated in London, and not Edinburgh? Scotland is where the leaders are. The anti-capitalist demonstrators know this. Are al-Qaeda too lazy to take the train north? Obviously not. These bombs were in London and about London.

One of the biggest reason why many Londoners were against the 2012 Olympics coming to their city is the fear that they will essentially turn London into the world's juiciest ever terror target. And who could argue today that this fear wasn't justifiable?

And this is the twisted genius of the bombings. The psychology is perfect: they let London be chosen to host the games, they let the celebrations begin, then they stamped on the celebrations with their bombs. They've slapped their brand on the whole enterprise. Instead of letting the Olympics be a fun thing, an opportunity for sports, communities and business, a positive thing for London and Britain, they have turned them into a curse.

We can look forward now to the 2012 London Olympics in the sure knowledge that terrorists will do their level best to disrupt them. This is what the July 7 bombings mean: al-Qaeda have started the stopwatch on an east end armageddon
."

and that, my friends, is a fucking scary thought.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

londoners will remember today

conversing with kids back in london:

Maria:
Fucking hell. We're having a scary, crazy day here. 6 explosions in total although it seems as though there are more. Edgware Road, King's Cross, Liverpool Street, Russell Square, Aldgate East and Moorgate tube stations and reports of 3 buses being blown up as well. London is locked off - no public transport indefinitely... they're telling us all to stay where we are until further notice. Tony Blair is being flown back down from Gleneagles and they have to continue the G8 summit without him. It's asbsolute madness. Cathy is in Tottenham Court Road and is shitting herself...they all have to stay in the buildings. She's going to have to walk home to Battersea once they let them leave - she said the streets are packed with people.

I almost got on the Piccadilly line before it all got shut off as well. But I got distracted by the sale in the Disney Store and bought a dressing gown then went to Tescos instead of just going straight to Putney which is what I normally do. I would probably just have got stuck on the tube in between barons court and earls court but I'm so so glad I avoided it all. Have to make spence pick me up later coz there is no way that I'm getting on public transport. No buses....don't think we'll have the option of the tube in a long while. stock market is buggered...

They just confirmed that it was a suicide bomber on the bus in russell square. Just got a report that Leicester Square was hit as well but have only heard it once so not sure if it's true. I'd really rather not be here. Scary shit...people are talking about having to walk through underground tunnels and step over bodies.

Shit shit shit. Two more have gone off in Hounslow, one in Greenford and one has been found in Richmond. I'm so scared it's silly. It was scary when it was in central London but now they're hitting the outskirts as well. I want to come and stay with you ;o(

Hounslow, Greenford and Richmond - not typical terrorist areas

Really can't believe it although we've all been expecting it for a while. Not the same as when it actually happens though.

yeah i know after all the fucking scare mongering by the press n shit

What's the vibe in NY at the mo?

i don't really know what the general vibe is. no one seemed to register it this morning. it hadn't made the morning papers or anything, that i saw.

and people keep expecting me to work. they put calls through or hand me something and i just want to scream at them to fuck off. but obviously i can't.

I feel completely crazy and messy and pretty much just want to walk out. shit.



and after Sam's jubilant retelling of being in trafalgar square for the olympic announcement yesterday, her email today:

"We are all being sent home and told not to come in tomorrow."

Fuck.

I've managed to check in with almost everyone, they're all safe. I burst into tears in front of a fit guy who works here when I read about Hounslow and Richmond (as yet unconfirmed, but that's my neck of the woods, yo). I tried not to cry on the subway on the way in. I think it was desperation at wanting to get into work to be able to contact people. Now I just want to get out this bloody office.

I think today is one of the first times I wish I was back in London. Not that there's anything I can do. But just because.

Sometimes I just hate this world, you know?

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

when the train, it left the staaaationnnn

song i've had stuck in my head today: love in vain - rolling stones.

thought of the day: there's something to be said for going commando.

note to self: buy a new umbrella, retardo. the other one is so defective it should have been binned about three weeks ago.

second note to self: buy some new earphones.

currently listening to: let it bleed - rolling stones

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

goddamn english kids

thought of the day, during class this evening and at the PATH station on the way home:

"oh dear. i think i'm ostracizing everyone on the MB course even more than before," as people who usually say hi to me don't really even bother. gosh, it's fun to be this popular with the english kids.

i can't help it if i'm not interested in hanging out in big groups of brits in cheesy fucking pubs when i'm in new york.

retards.

i had the worst craving for pizza on my way home. it was torture to make myself turn left back to the apartment instead right and to the food court, coming out the station. mmm, pizzaaa...

Sunday, July 03, 2005

saturday night's alright (for rockin')

strike a pose

afternoon spent in williamsburg... beautiful weather... managed not to flash anyone this time... c-c came down and we wandered around, had the best lemonade at relish, got ice-cream and stood on the corner of bedford & north 7th people watching (fascinating in that area)... plans for misshapes in the evening... eventually get to misshapes about 10:45... waiting outside but it's a lovely night... chat to random girl also waiting outside on bench for her friends... at 11:10 we give up waiting and head inside to take advantage of the open vodka bar that only runs for an hour... c-c and her friend zach turn up about five minutes later anyway... dancing upstairs... taking the piss of people... taking photos... "let's get retarded"... abusing the open bar till they start wanting to see all the people we're ordering drinks for (yikes)... collar the misshapes photographer after he makes me and c-c pose for him... his name is scott. he was wearing schoolboy shorts... metrosexual but kinda cute... bump into a few kids i know/have met before (r., his buddy alex, lauren that girl whose boyfriend was living with annie's friend reed but they've now broken up yikes that r. intro'd me to)... talking to randoms here there and everywhere... a french boy who'd only been in the city a day and didn't really understand what i was saying... two gay guys with interesting haircuts upstairs who proffered drugs (i have no idea how i started talking to them at all)... a cute kid outside called jonah... some other kids from long island who might or might not be people r. knows, i have yet to figure out... i have a funny photo of them though... c-c and zach took off at one point but i was having fun talking to strangers so stayed a little longer... got back to newport as the sun was coming up and stumbled in to bed in a daze... good times... i love this city...

the hand